These hurdles keep you from reaching your goals- and here’s how to clear them!
The main saboteur of your well-intentioned goals is resistance.
This might sound like a no-brainer, but when you can identify resistance, it’s MUCH easier to overcome and let go.
Here’s how to identify your resistance when you’re working towards a goal, and how to overcome it.
1. First things first, identify your goals.
If you aren’t clear about where you’re going, you’re shooting at a moving target- which is a special form of resistance and time-wasting. You really don’t want this in your life! Get clear about what you actually want, and you’re on your way. (For tips on clear, effective goal-setting, click here).
2. Ask yourself WHY you’ve chosen your goals.
Ideally your focuses will align with your values- your deepest desires and meaning for doing what you do. When you align yourself with your values, you can move towards your goals with very little resistance. If your goals are Extrinsically motivated (i.e. you’re looking for approval from OUTSIDE yourself-), you are MUCH more likely to find resentment for it and a million reasons not to do it. More importantly, trying to make others happy will never truly satisfy you, and you don’t have any control over that outcome. It’s a desperate way to live, so take back your power, and choose Intrinsically motivated (INNER/values-driven) goals.
3. Ask yourself AHEAD of time, what will derail me as I work towards this goal?
This step is crucial. When you have a plan to overcome your obstacles AHEAD of time, they’re not really obstacles anymore. It takes the guesswork and paralyses out of ‘unexpected’ circumstances because you planned for them. Make a list of things that might come up for you, and you won’t have to resist them, you’ll simply work through and around them.
4. Notice your language.
Ideally, you’ve followed the advice above and you’ve chosen a goal that’s intrinsically motivated in order to overcome resistance. But what about the words you use to describe your goal? Let’s say your goal is to go to the gym 3 days per week. When you’re talking about your schedule do you say, ‘UGH, I HAVE TO go to the gym tonight?’ Or, ‘I SHOULD go to the gym tonight?’
Words like ‘have to’ and ‘should’ are guilt and shame- language. They probably show up a lot when you’re trying something new- and while guilt and shame are motivators- they aren’t positive ones.
You will have much better success with overcoming resistance by using phrases like, ‘I choose to’ and ‘I am’ statements.
This empowers your language and puts you back in the driver’s seat. You choose your goals- so it’s time to take responsibility and go get them! Repeat after me, “I AM going to the gym tonight”. “I’m choosing a glass of water instead of a third glass of wine”. -You get the picture ;).
Now that you’re wise about your own brand of resistance, set some goals for your upcoming month with this free PDF Monthly Goal Sheet. It’ll help you stay focused and crush next-month’s to-do’s!!